Confession: I get frazzled super-duper easily. Which is funny because I am a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants type of girl. Like, if you came over, unannounced, and told me to hop in your car because we’re going on an adventure… I’d be in your car before you were finished with your sentence.
Moments like that should frazzle me, right? But they don’t. Even though I have no information at all, I’d go with the flow. But last night? Not so much. Here’s the story…
Brent, my fantabulous husband, and I were chatting about work and ministry and my job and all that is going on with all of it. He lost me after the fourth word left his mouth. So I started asking questions…
Remind me again what we’re doing?
So we’re doing this, because???
Help me understand how this is going to work?
And he explains it all, again. Great! Then I send him out of the room to get me a drink. He comes back to me and I am armed with a notebook, ready to rehash and take notes. I ask for bullet points, because those who don’t like spreadsheets like bullet points. I want simple form explanations. My mind is a complicated thing. And at the end of the chat, I end up with this…
Just a title. A hope. Nothing to follow. It’s not that he didn’t explain – it’s that my mind just can’t wrap itself around information that is too close to home sometimes.
Have you ever been there? Those times when you check out of your own reality? That blank stare – the one that if left unattended too long turns into a blank stare accompanied by a little drool?
Here’s what I believe – God has got us. He knows. And though we feel completely unprepared and unqualified to handle our realities at times, God still gives us what we need, when we need it, whether we like His plan or not. Doesn’t always make sense. But He is God, we aren’t.
Your notebook might be blank today, like mine is, but that does not mean your purpose has stalled or disappeared. It may just mean that you are in training, becoming equipped to fill in the lines.
My notebook doesn’t have the bullet points like I had hoped for, but it has a title. And some days… that needs to be enough.