Defund. Defend. Decide.

[*** There are so many layers to why women get abortions. Far too many for me to tackle alone, and far too many for me to be an expert on. I do not have all the answers. But I do have my story and experiences with abortion. I speak from that and my own research***]
I’m gonna jump right to it.

DEFUND

Do I want to see Planned Parenthood defunded? Sure. Because of their abortion services and practices? Yes. Also because our hard earned tax money is funding them whether we want it to or not.

Do I believe that defunding Planned Parenthood will have any impact on the amount of abortions being sought? I personally cannot project those numbers.

But I do know that because abortion was so easily available to me I didn’t spend too much concern on “what if I get pregnant a second time and need another abortion?”. No worries – I’ll just hop in the car and go get one.

When my kids were in school and would forget their lunches I would stop what I was doing and take them one right away. But I only did that a few times until I realized I was making it way too easy for them to not practice responsibility. After a couple rejections to their “Mom, I forgot my lunch again!” phone calls, they quickly realized they must step up and make the changes needed in their daily routines to ensure they scheduled time to take care of their lunches.

My “rescue” was enabling them. And, really, it was no rescue at all. I was setting them up to feel entitled, to not value that proper planning ahead is a benefit and security.

That’s how I feel about the majority of abortions. It’s looked at, mostly, as a rescue. A rescue for the mother that doesn’t want to be a mom right now, at all, or again. I’ve read some interesting articles on why women are seeking abortionAnd according to the Guttmacher Institute:

Three-fourths of women cite concern for or responsibility to other individuals; three-fourths say they cannot afford a child; three-fourths say that having a baby would interfere with work, school or the ability to care for dependents; and half say they do not want to be a single parent or are having problems with their husband or partner.

My top reasons for obtaining abortions? Every single one you just read above. I admit all of it in my book. I’m an open book. But at the core of it, if I am being honest, my real reason was because I did not plan responsibly. Period.

Yes. I know for some, rape, incest, and health concerns/dangers are involved. The statistics show those to be fairly low “<1%”  So I feel it safe to say that a very large percentage of abortions could be due to poor planning. An unwanted pregnancy is often referred to as an “unplanned pregnancy”. I can only speak for certain of my own experiences and they were not unplanned pregnancies, they were unplanned pregnancy-control. I wasn’t being responsible. I did not plan ahead and take seriously the responsibility of sex and the chance of getting pregnant because of having sex (which happens when you have sex, y’all).

DEFEND

Absolutely, yes. Defend the unborn child. Defend the mother of the unborn child. Defend the victim of rape and incest. Defend the parents of a life-threatening pregnancy who are wrestling with the toughest decision of their lives.

Defend them all. Support them all.

For a few, abortion is actually necessary. I’ve known cases. I understand that, accept that, and support that.

But here it is, and if I’ve said it once – I’ve said it a thousand times… abortion isn’t as much the issue as what is leading the abortion-minded woman to this decision. And this, this is what I am trying so hard to tackle.

We cannot blame a lack of education. We are educated in this country. We know how pregnancy happens. We know how to take preventive cautions. Thanks to Obamacare birth control is free. So, there’s that. Under Obamacare we all must be insured; that’s the rule now.

• ObamaCare mandates that everyone who can afford it must obtain and maintain health insurance (known as minimum essential coverage) throughout the year starting in 2014, get an exemption, or pay a per-month fee on their year-end Federal income taxes.

And if you’re a woman under the age of 26 you are covered under your parents insurance. So, because of this, birth control is free. That’s a perk, y’all. A very good one.

So ladies, I will defend your right to get that free birth control, Oh-yes-I-will. [Note: this free “birth control” also includes the Plan B pill and other “emergency contraceptives”.]

I will defend you for being afraid of having a baby. I will defend your admission that you weren’t being careful. I will defend your right to make your own decision, I will. But I will also defend and exhaust every other option with you till I am blue in the face and you are left with nothing but the urge to punch mine. Because my defending your reality also defends your baby. It gives worth and value to the life inside of you.

DECIDE.

We need to decide what is important. I read a quote recently that said something along these lines… Once your heart stops beating you are officially pronounced dead. Yet, once your heart starts beating, why aren’t you pronounced alive? (If someone knows the credit to this quote please advise me)

We live in a state of contradiction.

I’ve shocked myself at times when I’ve realized that even some of my own convictions oppose some of my deepest values. I say on one hand that such and such is of the utmost importance. Then I look over and see how my right hand harms the left hand. We often hold two opposing fights in our hands. I am taking a huge risk by suggesting this may be because we just don’t want to be wrong, look wrong, or admit we are wrong.

That kind of pride is detrimental to our lives… to life.

So we must decide what truly is important. And isn’t life important?

You may support the right to have an abortion for any reason women give. Ok. But can’t we still agree that helping these same women sit with a number of other alternatives, that will not only save the beating heart inside of her, give hope to a barren woman who has been praying for a child of her own, is equally valuable and worth presenting and supporting?

Why can’t we work together on this? Why does it have to be a fight or an offense? How can wanting to save lives, babies and mothers, be offensive?

Can we decide that coming alongside young girls and women, helping them see their own value, physically, emotionally, sexually, is not offensive?

Can we decide to stop fighting each other and start supporting these women and babies?

DEFUND. DEFEND. DECIDE.

Wherever you stand I believe it’s safe to say that you are grateful to be alive. I’m grateful you are. I’m grateful to be alive. Life is beautiful. Lets do what we can, together, to bring the importance of that beauty back.

[All comments and opinions are welcomed as always. While this may be a controversial topic it does not have to be a disrespectful conversation. I reserve the right to delete your comment if you fail to use your words in a nice, mature, manner.]

 

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