Twenty-seven years later…he is still wrong

I had been in an unbelievable amount of pain that day. Doubled over, rocking back and forth, shaking uncontrollably.
It had been two days since the procedure. Recovery was much worse than the first time.

Finally, I mustered up enough strength to get to the bathroom. I sat and screamed while in excruciating pain. The bleeding would not let up. The pain was relentless. Every pulsating stab was accompanied by streams of tears.

After several minutes I cleaned up, stood up, and felt the need to clean up some more. That’s when I saw them. I think they were fingers. There were three of them. Partly connected. So very tiny.

The doctor said there might be a slight chance part of the fetus would deliver this way.

He was right.

He also said I would feel better once it was all over.

He was wrong.

Twenty-seven years later…he is still wrong.

Yes, I know I am forgiven by a God who has showered more grace and mercy on me than I deserve. I have forgiven myself, too. But feel better? No.

This is one of the many realities of abortion.



6 thoughts on “Twenty-seven years later…he is still wrong

  • Its been 6 years since my first one and I don’t feel better. That’s one thing that bothers me is when the doc says “once the pill has done its job, you will feel better in a week or so.”

    • Yah. It doesn’t go away. The memory. We stay connected because it’s a heart connect. It goes so much deeper.

  • I seldom comment however I wanted to thank you for sharing your honesty and transparency. It’s comforting to those of us that have walked a similar road. I still struggle with forgiving myself, even though I know that The Lord has forgiven me. I will be buying your book, as soon as our finances allow. The second time was so much worse for me as well. Anyway, didn’t mean to hijack your comment section with my story. Jut wanted to thank you for sharing your story.

    • Forgiving myself was the biggest hurdle. We have to push through the doubts, the fears, the anger and regret. Because behind every single one of those thoughts that paralyze us is Hope. It’s there. And it’s waiting. I promise you!!

  • Sweet girl. What a huge blessing you are for sharing the deepest parts of you and letting God use you. I’m so grateful that God has taught you how to forgive yourself and love yourself. I finished your book last night and more than ever, I want to meet up and hug on you. Your story has given me such perspective on life. I’m blessed to know you.

    • Your words blessed me so much, Laura!!! If we do not meet before years end it will be utterly pitiful!
      Love you!

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